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my ex's ex-wife was the same way. His would come to us wearing socks with holes, old clothes, the daughter had brown crusty underoos. Yet the biotch had a Lexus made more $ than him always dressed like a hoochie in new clothes, etc. He asked if he could know what it was being spent on, but in NC they say it's not his business. I disagree, but I am not the judge. Just don't do like my ex- he enabled her by going out and buying clothes for the (who he only saw every other weekend). His ex KNOWS he do so, so why should she spend the money on the?? We argued about this a LOT and now he's left, and honestly I don't the drama. Good luck though- just don't go out and buy stuff- tell them their mom gets X amount every month and should buy stuff for them when she has them because that is what it is for. That's what I told my step. You buy stuff for them when you have them. I have joint 50-50 over my own. I buy stuff for when they are here- their dad buys stuff for his house. Separate clothes and everything. I say try to get 50-50 so you don't have to pay the biotch a dime!